In my later working years, most of the office coffee break conversations with people of my age involved speculation about when we would retire, where we would move when we could live anywhere, how many days, months or years before we could “escape.” The talk was largely negative – more about what we were going to be glad to get rid of (regular hours, miserable bosses, long commutes) than what we would replace it with. And soon, when we could, we retired. But perhaps, before embarking on our escape, we should have thought more about “The Great Good Place” that Henry James describes for us in such loving detail.
The main character in James’ short story is Dane, a successful author (James himself?) who is constantly harassed for interviews, lectures, deadlines. One bleak morning, overwhelmed by depression at the piles of tasks before him, Dane is reminded by his secretary that he has a meeting with a young stranger. Immediately upon the arrival of his guest, Dane finds himself transported to “the scene of his new consciousness,” the calm and quiet of a “great good place.” It is both a monastery and a spa, it is a “broad deep bath of stillness” which gives Dane time – it seems like months – to recuperate.
He arrived [the stranger in his office] to the minute on a day when more than ever in my life before I seemed, as it happened, in the endless press and stress, to have lost possession of my soul and to be surrounded only with the affairs of other people, smothered in mere irrelevant importunity.
Not so in the great good place. The value of the place seems to be in the material and mental renunciations:
This key, pure gold, was simply the cancelled list. Slowly and blissfully he read into the general wealth of his comfort all the particular absences of which it was composed. One by one he touched, as it were, all the things it was such rapture to be without.
The place is described as resembling a gracious monastery or a quiet grand hotel, but it is clearly the work of Dane’s imagination. Auden loved this story and, in The Dyer’s Hand, called it a parable:
I believe, however, that, in his own discreet way, James is writing a religious parable, that is, he is not describing some social Utopia, but a spiritual state which is achievable by the individual now, that the club [the great good place] is a symbol of this state ….
In retrospect, I could have stayed in the workplace longer if I could have found refuge in such a parable, if I were capable of conjuring up a state of peaceful detachment from my work. God knows I tried. And often lately, when I have heard my children complain about the stress of their careers, I have repeated the advice I could never incorporate into my life – knowing that it is doubtful that they will either. Both the Buddha’s words and the Gita tell us again and again that we must work but not be attached to the outcome of our work. True, but easier said than done.
But back to retirement. I guess my retirement is closer to a monastery than a grand hotel. We consciously live very quietly, trying to reduce the exterior and interior noise in our lives. Sometimes, though, it cannot be avoided. There are family crises. There are house repairs and the illnesses old age. For the past couple of years there has been the constant threat of Covid. There is the agitation I feel over these things. Some, perhaps, can be sidestepped. I have already sworn that I will never own another house. Yet one cannot sidestep loved ones or the demands of one’s own body. One cannot, in good conscience, completely withdraw from the responsibilities of the world (although it is tempting).
Limits might be drawn, but too often they are not. Are we so inured to the sturm und drang of life that we take it into retirement with us, like a drug to which we are addicted? It is almost as if we need some level of emotional turmoil and challenge to feel alive.
Outside demands on us have diminished, but we often replace our involuntary servitude with voluntary obligations, guilt, chores. And if the obligations are not for our time, they are for our mental space. Finally, we have a chance to take “possession of our soul,” but we are perhaps out of the habit.
There is an interesting article on the mathematician Grothendieck in this week’s New Yorker. You might remember Grothendieck from Labatut’s wonderful book When We Cease to Understand the World (see my recent post). Grothendieck “disappeared” in his old age to live a completely different kind of life. Some speculated that he was deranged (as geniuses often are), but others thought he was living just as he wanted. He himself wrote: “The time of tasks is over for me. If age has brought me something, it is lightness.” I hope he found his great good place.
The main reason I spend time studying old age, is that I have always hoped to build my old age deliberately. It is not easy but – as Thoreau tried to tell us – living deliberately is the only way to construct and live in our “great good place.” What would your great good place look like?
One of the ways I play with ideas about how to live the latter parts of my life is through writing fiction. You might look at “Again and Again and Again” or “Nothing New” as examples of such sketches. Often, I explore ideas in order to ultimately reject them, but the writing often tutors me in different ways of being in these “golden” years.